Well, I never created this blog for write-ups as I am definitely not good at them. But, there is something which has been going wrong and it still continues to nail my heart and force my conscience to literally cry the hell out from inside of me. I never thought I’d be going through a phase like this one in my life. I always made my life so very clear, however confused I may seem to anyone else, I always knew what I am doing. Life from the very beginning taught me that attachments give nothing but pain. But, this… this just seems to literally detach me from myself. I always used to think while looking at my buddy (who was lost somewhere in his own world while listening songs and I could easily make out that he wishes to burst out into tears but is controlling them with great difficulty because he wants to make himself strong to be able to come over his past.) that, “Is this thing which most of the people call LOVE really out there somewhere?” I tried my best to understand it, also experience it, but always failed. I think I know the reason behind the failure now.
I think God wanted me to already gain enough strength before I realize something as big as this in my life. He made me face situations which finally led me to be a complete frigid person from within. And when he finally brought upon me what he had been preparing me since so many years, it still lead to have such a drastic impact on me. I understand now how misfortunate it must have been for my buddy to force his tears within when he desperately wanted to let them out. The thing from which I always seemed to run away from finally caught me on the way. And somewhere in the deep corner of my heart, I don’t wish to take it out of me. I am somehow beginning to just love the experience of getting indulged more and more into it. . . . :)
P.S – This is my 1st ever write – up. So, the mistakes are heartily regretted. All the incidents mentioned are purely fictitious and the resemblance to any person, alive or dead, is just a mere co-incidence.
